︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

grey's anatomy
redamancy

i wanna know all the dreams that you keep beneath /
i want the words you whisper when i'm asleep

prelow    mistakes like this 

❛ i married you because i loved you ❜

THERE ARE SEVEN DEADLY SINS.

　Pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. These are all what make up the seven deadly sins. A set of laws that could make the strongest man tremble under their weight. The guarantee of being damned to hell if you broke one of these laws? There was something so debilitating― a paralyzing fear that made one second guess their every decision. James Shepherd was no exception to this fear. She followed the lines, she and her wavering beliefs, she was a good person. But... she loved corrupting herself with the euphoric feeling of love― lust that made her pupils dilate, lips part with heavy breaths, and shaky fingers twisted in dark brown curls. She thought that she could allow herself that one sin. But then one sin, turned into two, then three― she lost herself. That shot of electricity passed on a couch as people asked how their 1991 would start, was the mark of the devil. All she had wanted was that deep breath. The deep breath as she was marked free. Trying to break free from her childhood, from the suffocating hold of the city that never sleeps. She was damned from the moment she was born. There was no savior that would forgive her sins. No one would offer absolution for the bastard child of a dead man and a mad woman. But was she to be blamed for seeking penance in a man who had seen every sin and sought no forgiveness? 

　ABSOLUTION. PENANCE. THERE WAS NOTHING THAT WOULD FORGIVE THOSE SINS. NOTHING THAT WOULD MAKE THEM DISAPPEAR FROM THE RECORD OF SOMEONE'S LIFE.

　Mark Sloan had this nonchalance about himself that mystified people knew him. While they worried endlessly, he appeared relaxed― unbothered. If you were to ask him if he was a man of religion, Mark would tell you that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and now we're free. He was surely no saint but he wasn't entirely a sinner either. He was never a romantic man. He had gone through his life seducing those who matched his beauty and left them stomping out of apartments. He hadn't cared at all. Mark Sloan could dream about it; he could fancy himself the idea of waking up beside the same woman every day but he could never carry out the commitment on the rather lonely nights. His ideas were similar to those cheesy movies, the ones where the guy would have the girl and the guy would be wrapped around her finger as they ran through his hair. The mundane things that anyone but Mark Sloan could obtain. That was before he stumbled into that bar on Friday night, meeting her eyes as her and Addison exchanged laughs, leaving him breathless. How blissfully ignorant it was to think he would ever be someone more than the man who everyone claimed would rot in hell for his "crimes". It was a daydream; even on the day that Addison Montgomery treated them to a dinner at a home shared with his best friend. The glowing yellow hue from the lights reflected in her eyes, the pink of her lips as they stretched to laugh at some absurd joke Archer Montgomery muttered under his breath. She was the perfect image for a daydream. A destructive pairing made that very night.

　WHILE THE SINS WERE DEADLY, THERE'S NOTHING MORE DEADLY THAN TWO PEOPLE WHO WERE SO LOST THAT THEY LOOKED TO ONE ANOTHER FOR GUIDENCE. BOTH BLINDED BY THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT, HOW COULD TWO SINNERS GUIDE EACH OTHER TO THE WHITE PEALY GATES THAT WOULD FINALLY LET THEM REST? 

　How tragically destructive they were, like a symphony clashing in a great crescendo, reaching its height. Complete opposites attached to something that others couldn't see with the first glance, glimmers in the eye that left them both gasping for air. A tragic comedy it is for a man, who couldn't understand love, to fall so deeply for a woman so deeply pained by her world. A feeling within them both that left a wreckage behind as if they had fought a war, leaving casualties and unmarked graves, both settling for worlds past their understanding. A love so intoxicating that it wrung them dry.

　BUT WE ALL KNOW THE SAYING: HATE THE SIN, LOVE THE SINNER. 

victoria pedretti      james shepherd

aquarius. 35. bisexual

- x -

eric dane       mark sloan

leo. 36. pansexual

DISCLAIMERS. . .

this will be a slow burn! there'll be other relationships so please don't freak out if you see two women kiss while mark is just lurking in the background.
the topics handled in this book are based off personal experience and research. with this, i would like to add this fic will handle topics such as: homophobia, religious trauma, cheating, mental health, mention of suicide, adult language, violence, major adult themes. if any of these topics upset you, please don't read!!
please don't read this fic if you're under the age of 18. there's some heavy stuff and i don't really feel comfortable with minors being exposed to that. but i also know this is wattpad and a large majority are middle schoolers, so overly explicit chapters will be marked and you can skip if you need to. (this doesn't mean i want you to read, btw.)

DEDICATIONS. . .

milfs, annie, and elijah

AUTHOR'S NOTE. . .

sorry x

❛ we all make mistakes ❜

publication date: 1.18.2021
completion date: t.b.a